That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
