Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Randomize
