oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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