I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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