Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
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If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
