Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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