who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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