exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
