the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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