he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize