then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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