she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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