That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
