Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
