jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
