I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Who died my cat blue again?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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