Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
