Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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