What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think I died a long time ago.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
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