the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
