You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
