I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize