it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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