Ambien. No doubt about it.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
