:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
