I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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