If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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