It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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