I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
