I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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