OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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