He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize