Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
