Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize