I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
