none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize