More tranny stories later!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
