2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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