that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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