the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm at about main and main street
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize