who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
