I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
