Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
