...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
