oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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