i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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