You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
