what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize