I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
