just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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