Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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