WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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