I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
