I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
