Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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