do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
