You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
