I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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