So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
