I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
