I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
