my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
