Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
