meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
