Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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