toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
