God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
