Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
