Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
