"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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