mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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